All ‘tangled up’ by life experience
In Australia some of us are experiencing our sixth COVID-19 lockdown and it’s damn wearing.
Others are trying to get back to a new normal which is welcomed but equally challenging with a barrage of ever-changing public safety laws and constant scheduling uncertainty.
Regardless of where we find ourselves in this pandemic, there are times in life when feelings of hopelessness may overwhelm us.
Changing emotions are part and parcel of the human experience.
an the constant interplay of them in our daily lives has got me thinking about a play on the words ‘ravelling and unravelling’.
The meaning for ravelling and unravelling can be the same – as in ‘to reveal’, ‘to separate’ or ‘causing to fray or come apart’. But they can also mean the contradictory – ‘to tangle’ or ‘bind up’ or ‘wind up’. This is how I think of them.
So can we benefit from the experience of life ravelling and unravelling?
Just like a rope winding around and around to hold an object in place, it can be long and lean and serve as a life line. It’s form and use depend on its context and purpose. And therefore, both states of the rope have value.
You too may have had a similar experience where the tangling and untangling process of life has been challenging but you recognise lessons.
Having lived through most of my life with anxiety and depression, I’ve had my share of what seems like a never-ending cycle of feeling constrictions in my life and then experiencing the unwinding and releasing of an intense episode. At times, I feel totally exposed and vulnerable and it’s never a comfortable experience.
I remind myself, whether ravelling or unravelling, that all humans have many layers. We are built for survival and can tolerate a lot of discomfort and not perish. We learn ways to climb in and out (and through) the best we can and discover how to cultivate our own inner and outer resources over time.
To assist in navigating moments when I feel too bound by the experiences of my circumstances I do a couple practical things to stay present and “unwind”:
1. I focus on a long breath out (exhale of more than 5 counts) and remind myself to accept my present moment and let go of what I can’t control.
2. I also interrupt unhelpful circling thoughts by reconnecting to my environment and asking 5 questions related to the 5 senses:
What is something I can hear?
What is something I can see?
What is something I can touch?
What is something I can smell?
What is something I can taste?
By the time I do this 1–2 minute process, I have somewhat untangled the tension in my body, breath and mind and can often resume life’s activity in a more conscious way.
Whether we are amid lockdown or not, we can all benefit from supporting ourselves through moments of ravelling and unravelling by accepting the positive lessons both states of growth provide.
Be well, Deb